When we lose a loved one, words often are unutterable. More likely we need a place to feel safe to express our feelings. We need others who truly understand and will share a shoulder to cry on. But most of all, we need to know there is hope when we feel lost; a way out of our sadness and back into the reality of life.
If you find yourself, or someone you know, in this situation, there is good news. Buckeye Christian Church offers GriefShare sessions twice a year. Christy Kirtlan and Jean George founded GriefShare at BCC in 2007. Jean George, Chuck Crable and Pat Vincent are the three current facilitators. “The way in which GriefShare differs from other similar programs is that GriefShare is a very ‘Christ-based’ view of the grief experience. We strive to find what God wants us to learn from this experience,” Pat Vincent said.
No direct quotes will be seen here from any participant because each person agrees at their first session to keep things said at these meetings within the group. “It is certainly not a ‘secret’ group, but I think you can appreciate how very raw grief can be at times for those very new to the experience and their reasonable expectation for privacy,” Pat added.
GriefShare is a mixture of experiences, with three main parts:
- Videotapes, which contain information from leading national experts on various topics of grief;
- Workbooks, which contain information that each person can access on their own through the week;
- Discussion, which sometimes follows the videos and workbook, and sometimes involves what participants have experienced during the week.
The GriefShare ministry is 13-week series of sessions, offered twice a year. When holidays are considered, each series of sessions span closer to 16 weeks. They have smaller activities, such as grief letter writing and picnics in the "empty" weeks. A special session on Surviving the Holidays is also offered.
Pat shared these important points to understand GriefShare:
- It is for people grieving the loss of a loved one. The loss of a marriage, a pet, a job and other losses, are all serious losses, but they are not addressed by this group.
- It is an outreach ministry. Other churches, hospital chaplains, funeral homes and more, are encouraged to refer people to us, and do.
- Grief may ambush a person years out from the death of a loved one. For this reason, there is no set time limit. In fact, having folks from different time spans is helpful. It reminds the older folks of how much they have healed, and the newer people of the fact that healing may come, even though it seems so unlikely at first.
- It is not an exercise in theology, though the problems of pain and suffering, and the question of "why" are not uncommon. The stress is on love and hope, and the knowledge that God is always in control.
“It is closer to emergency room care, than it is to long term care. The facilitators are not professionals, but we have links to professionals if needed by the participants,” Pat said.
Pat added that the number of people who attend varies from each series of sessions, and even from session to session. “It really is apparent, though, that each session has the correct mix of people to be of help to one another. Jean, Chuck and I have nothing to do with that. It is evidence of God blessing the purpose of the group.”
Christy said that approximately 35 people have been through the program with the majority of the people not being a part of a Buckeye. 30 people have attended Surviving the Holidays.
You will find GriefShare meeting announcements posted in the bulletin. We meet Sunday evenings, Room 102, 6 to 8 PM. To register, call Sandy at the church, register at BuckeyeCC.com or GriefShare.org, email Pat at Packy2196@aol.com or call Jean George. If all of those methods fail, simply show up. We have extra workbooks and chairs.
For more information on work done nationally and background on GriefShare, check out www.GriefShare.org. Our website, www.Buckeyecc.com has a GriefShare link.
